I bumped into
an old drinking buddy on the street recently
and said, "Neil, I haven't had a drink in over seven years."
To which he replied, "Boy, you must be thirsty."
The definition
of codependency is;
you're drowning and somebody else's life flashes in front of your eyes.
There's only
one thing worse to an alcoholic than bad fortune. . . and that's good
fortune.
Alcoholics
don't have relationships, they take hostages.
Having a relationship
in recovery is like putting Miracle Gro on your character defects.
I thought when
I stopped drinking that my life was going to be one long dental appointment.
Now when I
wake up in the morning I say,
"Good morning God" instead of "Good God, it's morning."
How many alcoholics
does it take to change a lightbulb? Change?
If you pray
for a Porsche and God sends you a jackass, ride it.
Comedy is tragedy
plus time.
No one was
ever pulled over for driving while overweight.
How many Codependents
does it take to screw in a light bulb? "What light bulb?"
Sure I had
a drinking problem, but I looked at it more as a drinking opportunity.
Sobriety ruins
your drinking.
If you want
to hear God laugh, tell him your plans.
Recovery is
like $5 Million worth of therapy, shoved up your rear a Nickel at a
time.
I've never
been fired from a job I loved.
People with
fear of commitment have trouble subscribing to a magazine
for more than one year.
If I woke up
today feeling the way I did everyday when I drank,
I'd check myself in to the
emergency room.
No one ever
said on their death bed, "Gee, I wish I'd written one more memo".
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